We become stronger EMOTIONALLY by facing our fears, feeling them fully, and moving on. If we don't resolve our emotional issues, we keep attracting repeat occurrences, similar relationships with the same kinds of patterns, getting fired from multiple different jobs, having the same argument with others, over and over again.
We can be addicted in many ways. We choose some type of numbing agent, to relieve our situations, both chemical or behavioral. We do this because of the emotions we are not willing to face. The pleasure of the distraction feels good, but so does the escape, the relief from not having to feel the painful feelings pushed down deep inside. But these feelings are never fully buried. When we are running from our feelings, it's usually because we are feeling them to a certain extent. That's why we start running in the first place. Yet as hard as it can be to feel these emotions, it's so much easier if you understand they won't hurt or feel uncomfortable forever. The energy of emotions is like a storm. It runs its course and then it's fine. But only if we let ourselves feel those emotions fully.
It's also easier to feel emotions when we realize there's no logic to them, that we don't need to get tangled in making sense of them. We just need to feel them, accept that they may make us feel a bit crazy, and know that the pain, discomfort, and craziness will pass. Young kids don't hide their emotions. They simply react, feel the emotion and let it go.
Sometimes, very small things can cause huge upsets inside. This is because underneath the exterior situation, you internally feel that it means you're not good enough, and you don't want to face that feeling. Yet if you were to look deep, and face that underlying feeling of pain and fear, it would release fully, completely, and permanently. And the next time this situation occurred, you would not even notice it occurred. Also, when you no longer have a "button" about something, you stop attracting situations that will push your buttons.
But usually, most people don't tune in to their feelings at the deepest levels. Usually, it's "You made me feel...." and How could you be so selfish? We blame others, project onto others, because feeling the truth is painful, and we are wired to avoid pain. This cycle of avoidance and blaming others repeats until we heal it, and release it.
Emotions may affect physical healing. If you have a health issue that you want to heal, it's common to layer on top of that issue all sorts of things that can make healing even harder. All negative emotions about this issue can block healing.
If you can let go of shame, anger, blame, and so on you can increase your body's healing process. The first step in healing is to make peace with the emotional anguish about having a health condition and the emotional need for it to heal.
1. Find the Feeling. All feelings manifest in some part of your body. Think about the situation that's upsetting you, and notice where in your body the feeling is the
strongest. Perhaps your chest, stomach, hands, head, or anywhere else in your body.
2. Give It Attention. Instead of distracting yourself from the feeling, or try to mentally solve the problem, just be present to the physical sensation of the feeling in your body.
3. Be Unconditionally Loving or Accepting. This feeling is here? It's a fact. It won't be here forever. For now, as long as it's here anyway, accept it. And if possible, send that feeling love.
4. Focus on the Eye of the Storm. Inside the feeling in your body, there's an area of greatest intensity. Put your attention on that area and stay present to it, in an unconditionally loving or accepting way.
6. Get to Peace. Stay with the feeling. Let it live, breathe, and grow. Let it move around if it needs to. Keep your attention on the most intense part in an unconditionally loving way. And eventually you will be at peace.'s like an oil candle; the fuel needs oxygen to burn, but once the fuels burned out, it's gone. Your attention is the oxygen and the feeling is the fuel. We never know how much fuel there is in there. It could be gone in seconds, or minutes.
6. Get to Peace. Stay with the feeling. Let it live, breathe, and grow. Let it move around if it needs to. Keep your attention on the most intense part in an unconditionally living way. And eventually you will be at peace.
7. Enjoy Permanent Peace. After the feeling that's been troubling you has run its course, you will be left feeling neutral. That's peace. You might also be filled with joy or love.
To make sure you've cleared the negative feelings completely, think about the situation, problem, or fear that was bothering you. Notice whether you feel anything other than peace, love or joy. If you do, repeat this process. Sometimes there are several layers that need to be processed.